do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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