just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
