We're like a lot better than the average bears
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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