I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
