Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
