I hope mine doesn't look like that
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
