I got chris browned last night
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
