i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
