NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
