Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
