Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
