You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
