is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
