I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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