Whod you bang
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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