My friends, they love my intelligence
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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