erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She bit a glass in half.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize