In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
