dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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