The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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