Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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