i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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