why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
