great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
why do cheetos always look like penises
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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