piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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