***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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