I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
God I need to hump something, right now.
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