so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize