Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
