Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
