her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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