dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
