A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
