butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
