You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
