Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
