No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
