is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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