I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
