if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
