"it" just moved
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
