the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize