I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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