Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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