random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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