The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
