I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
