Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
