would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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