i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
