I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
