I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
