I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize