just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
