Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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