grandma shit on top of the toilet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
