she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
