Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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