I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
