come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
