My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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