even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
