All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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