You work out of a Hotel?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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