There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
