quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
