did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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