I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
