How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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