I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
tell me about the fingering
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