Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
