he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
