either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
